I love going to church and being challanged. . .
- to be a better person
- to love others no matter what
- to forgive
- not to judge
- serve others UNCONDITIONALLY
. . . the problem is i keep failing!!!!
Monday, December 6, 2010
Thursday, October 7, 2010
The Challenge: To Be Grateful!
As I sit here and contemplate what the future holds I wonder if I can really be grateful through the present. President Monson admonished us just a few days ago to be grateful. Be patient, don't settle for what you want now. Wait for the real reward. I am trying. Enoka and I lay awake wondering what the future holds? What plan does the Lord have in store? What decision is the right decision? How much will it hurt? Do I break down and ask my parents if we can move in with them? or do we turn to his family for help? Do we seek temporary monetary help? Or a more long term (long patience) approach? Even though the fault lies on Enoka for the shortage of funds, I feel the guilt lies heavier on me. I am the one who went to the Lord with a question, innocent as it was I never imagined the answer would affect us so greatly. I keep wondering, "why did I ask if I knew it would lead to a test/challenge so hard?" Why can't I just run under the covers and hide till the problem is solved? Gosh, I miss being a kid again. I can't breathe, I can't cry, I can't yell, and I can't make everything right! What to do?
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
It's kind of spooky!
So one of my co-workers is on vay-k this week. No one else has been coming in. I have this huge office to myself most of the day and all I hear are strange noises. I tried turning up the radio and even singing along but to no avail. . it's still weird. Spookier than the Haunted Lagoon!
Sunday, October 3, 2010
Gratitude
Pres. Monson made me realize just how much I complain and over look the many blessings I have to be greatful for. As I have sat and pondered in just the past hour and half of my blessings. I have seen a huge paradigm shift in my attitude towards my work place, my friends/enemies, my family, my home, my situation, my life. I am so grateful that we get to listen to the Lords chosen every six months!
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Husbands. . . are they all the same?
Mine can stay home all day, and when I walk in exhausted from 8 hours of work, 2 hours of church, and 1/2 of exercise, will ask with a big smile on his face, "what you making for dinner?"
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
What is Love/ My day
I tried to come up with my definition of love and thought so long that I didn't remember to post. So I am doing a double post today. . .
What is LOVE: Alapati,Rachael, Sharyn, Elijah, Mariah, Judah, Adonijah, Uriah, Rachel, Jeremiah, Natasha, Alisi, Viena, Larie, Abe, Iwa, Jason, Kappy, Fale, Sam, Lina, Seu, Luisa, Fa'a, Maota, Isaako, Linikone, Darnette, Loliga, Don, Kemu, Mom, Dad, and Enoka. True love is in the family.
Today I planned to do laundry, go to work, shop with Viena, and hang with Robbie. The in-laws flew in today and I didn't get to do anything planned. It's been so long since I've seen Robbie, that I bet she thinks I'm trying to avoid her. . Not true but feels like it. Oh and sending in my 4th order for avon.
I did get to spend a wonderful afternoon with family, chat with the girls, and had time to make cornbread. I even got to go celebrate BIG MAC MONDAY!!!!! THAT'S RIGHT BABY, IT'S BACK. . . GO WARRIORS!
What is LOVE: Alapati,Rachael, Sharyn, Elijah, Mariah, Judah, Adonijah, Uriah, Rachel, Jeremiah, Natasha, Alisi, Viena, Larie, Abe, Iwa, Jason, Kappy, Fale, Sam, Lina, Seu, Luisa, Fa'a, Maota, Isaako, Linikone, Darnette, Loliga, Don, Kemu, Mom, Dad, and Enoka. True love is in the family.
Today I planned to do laundry, go to work, shop with Viena, and hang with Robbie. The in-laws flew in today and I didn't get to do anything planned. It's been so long since I've seen Robbie, that I bet she thinks I'm trying to avoid her. . Not true but feels like it. Oh and sending in my 4th order for avon.
I did get to spend a wonderful afternoon with family, chat with the girls, and had time to make cornbread. I even got to go celebrate BIG MAC MONDAY!!!!! THAT'S RIGHT BABY, IT'S BACK. . . GO WARRIORS!
Saturday, September 4, 2010
Here's exactly what I ate today:
Woke up and was sooooo hungry 3:00am in the morning : Banana pankeke from Dots. . (leftovers)
Breakfast 11:00 am (yup I went back to sleep) left overs from yesterdays lunch: banana, kalo, ufi (all faalifu style) palusami, bake chicken and orange juice.
lunch: hot dog and soda from sam's club.
dinner: brownies with walnuts and sprinkled with powder sugar (first) than a slice of pizza!
I haven't decided if I'll have brownies afterwards too!
Breakfast 11:00 am (yup I went back to sleep) left overs from yesterdays lunch: banana, kalo, ufi (all faalifu style) palusami, bake chicken and orange juice.
lunch: hot dog and soda from sam's club.
dinner: brownies with walnuts and sprinkled with powder sugar (first) than a slice of pizza!
I haven't decided if I'll have brownies afterwards too!
Friday, September 3, 2010
Day 3: My Parents
I have pondered about what to say all day. Do I tell the truth? What if it gets back to them? Do I sugar coat? What if readers know my family too well to know that this was the rated G version? What to say about my parents?
Like most families that grew up in Laie during my time. My parents met at Church Collage of Hawaii (now known as BYU-H)Mom came from here, Molokai and Kamehameha Schools to be exact. Dad came to Hawaii from Tonga with a short stop in Samoa waiting for his VISA to go through.
I wish I could tell you how my parents met, and how my dad proposed, and how romantic everything was. . but I think that is a story too long for this blog and one that only they could share. So I'm going to share a story about my father, that I don't think I've ever shared before. If you want to know how awesome my mother is, just read yesterdays blog.
When I was about 10 years old, I, like many curious children, started rambling through my fathers bottom drawer. (I don't know about your family, but each of my parents had a drawer that was their personal stuff, they never told us we couldn't touch, we just knew it was off limits.) He always had magical treasures in there, Always had at least one 3 lb can of corned beef - I didn't realize until I was older just how "rich" he was to have corned beef straight from New Zealand. And a few cans of smaller corned beef. They would change often, and I never knew why or how, cause we NEVER got to eat it. Only corned beef I ever ate until I met my husband was Libbys! He always had his Tauvala?(sp?)for special occasions, and then a bunch of important papers, a brief case (my favorite thing) In side he collected silver dollers, 50 cent pieces and some rare old dollar bills. But on this particular day I found his Journal! I was in shock, My dad kept a journal. What would a man write? So I looked around, found no one and started to read.
He was pouring out his feelings, worries and hopes for our family and especially for our garden. He wrote how he hoped the bugs would stop eating the lettuce. How he hoped the tomatoes would continue to grow. He expressed how grateful he was for good weather and how blessed he felt to work with his hands. he went on to talk about each of the veggies and then about each of us (his children)and how he wanted us to love the land too.
Up to this point in my life, I thought my dad was the man who got up in the morning and went to work, came home for lunch and went back to work, woke up on Sunday and went to church, came back for dinner and went to church again. But here he was sharing his hopes and dreams, in writing. All in his "secret" drawer! I found out more as I read. but the most amazing thing was his testimony. I don't think I ever heard him share it. But it was in the journal too. And it was powerful. I got to know my father like never before and was grateful. He wasn't just another man, he was a priesthood holder. He Loved the Savior, he wanted to follow the teachings of Jesus and he wanted us - his family to do all we could to return to Heavenly Father.
Now that he is getting older, it can sometimes be hard to understand why he is slowing down. As I have grown up, I've tried to understand why he makes or made certain decisions. But I never wonder who he is. I know - My Daddy is a Child of God. Sent here to love me like my father in Heaven would if he were here. Love you Dad.
Like most families that grew up in Laie during my time. My parents met at Church Collage of Hawaii (now known as BYU-H)Mom came from here, Molokai and Kamehameha Schools to be exact. Dad came to Hawaii from Tonga with a short stop in Samoa waiting for his VISA to go through.
I wish I could tell you how my parents met, and how my dad proposed, and how romantic everything was. . but I think that is a story too long for this blog and one that only they could share. So I'm going to share a story about my father, that I don't think I've ever shared before. If you want to know how awesome my mother is, just read yesterdays blog.
When I was about 10 years old, I, like many curious children, started rambling through my fathers bottom drawer. (I don't know about your family, but each of my parents had a drawer that was their personal stuff, they never told us we couldn't touch, we just knew it was off limits.) He always had magical treasures in there, Always had at least one 3 lb can of corned beef - I didn't realize until I was older just how "rich" he was to have corned beef straight from New Zealand. And a few cans of smaller corned beef. They would change often, and I never knew why or how, cause we NEVER got to eat it. Only corned beef I ever ate until I met my husband was Libbys! He always had his Tauvala?(sp?)for special occasions, and then a bunch of important papers, a brief case (my favorite thing) In side he collected silver dollers, 50 cent pieces and some rare old dollar bills. But on this particular day I found his Journal! I was in shock, My dad kept a journal. What would a man write? So I looked around, found no one and started to read.
He was pouring out his feelings, worries and hopes for our family and especially for our garden. He wrote how he hoped the bugs would stop eating the lettuce. How he hoped the tomatoes would continue to grow. He expressed how grateful he was for good weather and how blessed he felt to work with his hands. he went on to talk about each of the veggies and then about each of us (his children)and how he wanted us to love the land too.
Up to this point in my life, I thought my dad was the man who got up in the morning and went to work, came home for lunch and went back to work, woke up on Sunday and went to church, came back for dinner and went to church again. But here he was sharing his hopes and dreams, in writing. All in his "secret" drawer! I found out more as I read. but the most amazing thing was his testimony. I don't think I ever heard him share it. But it was in the journal too. And it was powerful. I got to know my father like never before and was grateful. He wasn't just another man, he was a priesthood holder. He Loved the Savior, he wanted to follow the teachings of Jesus and he wanted us - his family to do all we could to return to Heavenly Father.
Now that he is getting older, it can sometimes be hard to understand why he is slowing down. As I have grown up, I've tried to understand why he makes or made certain decisions. But I never wonder who he is. I know - My Daddy is a Child of God. Sent here to love me like my father in Heaven would if he were here. Love you Dad.
Thursday, September 2, 2010
Day 2: My first love!
Okay so most of you are probably writing about some puppy love that you crushed on in middle school. . . Not me..
I have not fallen out of love with my first love - and no- Enoka has nothing to worry about. . .
My first love was/is READING! But not just any read, Church books, especially the Book of Mormon. I was fourteen years old. Starting to realize that many of my friends at school had different beliefs. I wasn't trying to be a missionary, I was only trying to understand where they were coming from. Catholics, Baptist, Buhdist, Methodist, and the list goes on. . .But why so many different churches and what was the difference between theirs and ours. . .(Up till this time, when people said they belonged to a different church, I had assumed they meant a different ward or stake).
My mother and I were shopping at SEARS one day and a lady asked me if I was catholic or christen? I thought???????? then told her Christen but why didn't I say "neither, I'm mormon!" This led to an interesting conversation all the way home. We were preping dinner and still discussing the church issuse when my mother told me about her up bringing. My Grandmother was a "scientologist?" I never knew. I thought we were all mormons. Then she told me that when she was dating my father, she started to read the book of mormon(influenced by her roommate, not my dad), she shared with me how she had prayed about it and knew it was true. . .
This intrigued me. I had heard the Joseph Smith story, and we read the book of mormon as a family every morning, I just assumed it was true. I had never questioned it before. But that night I began. Every night in fact before going to bed I would read. Sometimes with a flashlight because I shared my room with Kappy and she would be asleep before me. I wish I could say I finished in a week, but it was months (almost 6) before I finished it. I prayed about it. I remember staying on my knees and waiting. Every night I would pray to find out if the Book was true. I don't remember how long, but more than a week had passed before the answer came to me. I got chicken skin, and then this warm feeling of love that I had never felt before. I cried and didn't know why. Then I realized that it was the spirit. The savior was telling me it was true. I got my answer, just like my mother and Joseph Smith. Something changed. I knew that I would never be the same. I knew it was true and hurt that others didn't. I went from falling a sleep during family scripure reading, to wanting to understand more. I spent all my extra money on LDS novels and church books, bios of prophets and church leaders.
But I have continued to read the Book of Mormon, and each time I finish I get on my knees and ask for a witness of it's truthfulness. As I go through and learn about promises, I test them out. Some of the time it takes a while to get my answer. . some times the trials accompanied by them are more than I think that I can bear. But each time I search, ponder, pray and exercise the teachings I feel the spirit testifying even stronger of the truthfullness. I understand deeper why it is an individual thing, and especially - increase my love for the book, the prophets who wrote it and the people who lived it.
I have not fallen out of love with my first love - and no- Enoka has nothing to worry about. . .
My first love was/is READING! But not just any read, Church books, especially the Book of Mormon. I was fourteen years old. Starting to realize that many of my friends at school had different beliefs. I wasn't trying to be a missionary, I was only trying to understand where they were coming from. Catholics, Baptist, Buhdist, Methodist, and the list goes on. . .But why so many different churches and what was the difference between theirs and ours. . .(Up till this time, when people said they belonged to a different church, I had assumed they meant a different ward or stake).
My mother and I were shopping at SEARS one day and a lady asked me if I was catholic or christen? I thought???????? then told her Christen but why didn't I say "neither, I'm mormon!" This led to an interesting conversation all the way home. We were preping dinner and still discussing the church issuse when my mother told me about her up bringing. My Grandmother was a "scientologist?" I never knew. I thought we were all mormons. Then she told me that when she was dating my father, she started to read the book of mormon(influenced by her roommate, not my dad), she shared with me how she had prayed about it and knew it was true. . .
This intrigued me. I had heard the Joseph Smith story, and we read the book of mormon as a family every morning, I just assumed it was true. I had never questioned it before. But that night I began. Every night in fact before going to bed I would read. Sometimes with a flashlight because I shared my room with Kappy and she would be asleep before me. I wish I could say I finished in a week, but it was months (almost 6) before I finished it. I prayed about it. I remember staying on my knees and waiting. Every night I would pray to find out if the Book was true. I don't remember how long, but more than a week had passed before the answer came to me. I got chicken skin, and then this warm feeling of love that I had never felt before. I cried and didn't know why. Then I realized that it was the spirit. The savior was telling me it was true. I got my answer, just like my mother and Joseph Smith. Something changed. I knew that I would never be the same. I knew it was true and hurt that others didn't. I went from falling a sleep during family scripure reading, to wanting to understand more. I spent all my extra money on LDS novels and church books, bios of prophets and church leaders.
But I have continued to read the Book of Mormon, and each time I finish I get on my knees and ask for a witness of it's truthfulness. As I go through and learn about promises, I test them out. Some of the time it takes a while to get my answer. . some times the trials accompanied by them are more than I think that I can bear. But each time I search, ponder, pray and exercise the teachings I feel the spirit testifying even stronger of the truthfullness. I understand deeper why it is an individual thing, and especially - increase my love for the book, the prophets who wrote it and the people who lived it.
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
Day 1 - Introduce yourself
Born Helen Kalei'eha Langi, now Helen Kalei'eha Moenoa I am called Helen by most, Kalei by family and close friends, K by neices and Nephews. I was named after my Great Grandma and My middle name is Hawaiian - Kalei'eha in literal translation means "wreath of pain" and if you had a mirror right now, I know what your face looks like as you are reading it. Everytime I tell someone they get that "WHAT!!!!" look. but the definition is my favorite part. "A joy so great that it makes you cry" for example: the feelings you have when you give birth and see and hold your baby for the first time (instant falling in love); or when you are kneeling opposite side of the alter to your new husband and all those emotions and thoughts that are going through you; or when I gain a testimony about a new aspect of the gospel- when the spirit is sweetly testifying to you and you have no doubt that what you are hearing is truth.
I grew up in Laie a.k.a Little Utah. I have an older brother: Sammy - he teaches ukulele, can beat box and hum a song at the same time. and has the biggest heart the world will ever know. He is part of a local band called Vaihi, and if I were bald, we would look like identical twins.
I have 5 younger sisters: Kappy, Iwa, Larie, Viena, and Lisi, and a sister-in-law Lina who is only younger than me by 4 months.
Kappy and I shared a room growing up but we are as different as night and day. She got all the artistic, creative, leadership talents and the coolest little boy Elijah.
Iwa just moved to American Samoa (samoya when being pronounced by her baby) She took her three girls Mariah, Shayrn, and Rachael with her. I am missing them all. Just knowing that I can't go play with them makes me want to move.
Larie has a baby boy that will break hearts. She is a lawyer who only works part time with the law. She has been dedicated to the Polynesian Cultural Center since she started and is currently the Manager over Hawaii/Military Sales. She is always busy but always makes time for everyone.
Viena: Nothing I say would do her justice. She is our miracle baby. Born with cerebal palsy, she never spoke until she was 3 years old. . . now she never runs out of things to say. She and I are shopping partners, we love to go to good restaurants and hang out. the only downfall is we live too far away and don't get together often enough.
Alisi: Baby of the family, with all the smarts! She too will be a lawyer (working on her masters in law as I type) She has the drive to change the world, and the heart to do it lovingly. She is one of my favorite examples of Christ. Always motivated to do whats right. Can't wait till she moves back home to Hawaii permanately.
I am married. Met the hubby on Dec. 31, 1999. At a party. He claims it was love at first sight. Took about 6 months longer for me. Enoka is my strength and weakness. He can make me happier and angrier, faster and slower than anyone I know. He is so incredible and I know he was sent to earth just for me. we are too good together.
My parents are still together. . . .42 years married. they are the most different people you will ever meet but awesome in their own way.
I work for Alternative Care Services, Inc. A company that provides daily assistance for those with dissabilities so that they can live in the community rather than facilities.
I am an independant sales rep for AVON and love it. I've only been doing this for 1 1/2 months but I really love it. Not just cause I love the products. . . but their are great benefits for working for this company and It is a ton of fun!
My entire family is musically inclined. I have to practice longer than others but my favorite past time with them is singing around the grand piano on sundays.
I grew up in Laie a.k.a Little Utah. I have an older brother: Sammy - he teaches ukulele, can beat box and hum a song at the same time. and has the biggest heart the world will ever know. He is part of a local band called Vaihi, and if I were bald, we would look like identical twins.
I have 5 younger sisters: Kappy, Iwa, Larie, Viena, and Lisi, and a sister-in-law Lina who is only younger than me by 4 months.
Kappy and I shared a room growing up but we are as different as night and day. She got all the artistic, creative, leadership talents and the coolest little boy Elijah.
Iwa just moved to American Samoa (samoya when being pronounced by her baby) She took her three girls Mariah, Shayrn, and Rachael with her. I am missing them all. Just knowing that I can't go play with them makes me want to move.
Larie has a baby boy that will break hearts. She is a lawyer who only works part time with the law. She has been dedicated to the Polynesian Cultural Center since she started and is currently the Manager over Hawaii/Military Sales. She is always busy but always makes time for everyone.
Viena: Nothing I say would do her justice. She is our miracle baby. Born with cerebal palsy, she never spoke until she was 3 years old. . . now she never runs out of things to say. She and I are shopping partners, we love to go to good restaurants and hang out. the only downfall is we live too far away and don't get together often enough.
Alisi: Baby of the family, with all the smarts! She too will be a lawyer (working on her masters in law as I type) She has the drive to change the world, and the heart to do it lovingly. She is one of my favorite examples of Christ. Always motivated to do whats right. Can't wait till she moves back home to Hawaii permanately.
I am married. Met the hubby on Dec. 31, 1999. At a party. He claims it was love at first sight. Took about 6 months longer for me. Enoka is my strength and weakness. He can make me happier and angrier, faster and slower than anyone I know. He is so incredible and I know he was sent to earth just for me. we are too good together.
My parents are still together. . . .42 years married. they are the most different people you will ever meet but awesome in their own way.
I work for Alternative Care Services, Inc. A company that provides daily assistance for those with dissabilities so that they can live in the community rather than facilities.
I am an independant sales rep for AVON and love it. I've only been doing this for 1 1/2 months but I really love it. Not just cause I love the products. . . but their are great benefits for working for this company and It is a ton of fun!
My entire family is musically inclined. I have to practice longer than others but my favorite past time with them is singing around the grand piano on sundays.
Sunday, July 4, 2010
Saturday, July 3, 2010
on a different note. .. . .
I was the maid of honor in a wedding two weeks back. . . It wasn't a bad wedding. . . . but all the photos of me turned out questionable (I know I was hotter then I looked) but here is a photo that wasn't so bad....
Day after. . ..
Funny how it's the little things that start the waterfalls. . . . .
After the funeral home came and took moms body away, the family came out to the garage which we use as a family room. . . .chairs and tables all around. The rain started, just a nice cooling rain -in this drought, we felt it was symbolic of her saying goodbye to us . . about to eat breakfast and Seu - the oldest of the children started to talk. . . we all looked to the spot that mommy normally sits and then it really sunk in she's really gone. Tears flowing the whole time. As he spoke about feeling lost and wanting for us to do our best to make her final arrangements all that she had wished. . . .he didn't go into the normal business of I'm the oldest you will do this type of thing. . . .he just said as her children we need to make it right. . .didn't talk about the normal FA Samoa custom where all the kids have to give this much money or anything stressful like that. He just said he knew that money is tight right now and if we work together we can do it and make her proud. There was such a sweet spirit in the meeting. It was hard to think of how we could afford everything or how we will plan a service that she could be proud of, but the desire was planted in everyone of us to do whatever we could to make her dreams a reality. .. knowing full well if we could do this, we could and would stay even closer as a family!
We left in the morning to go home, shower and get a little rest. . . Met with the funeral home. they were really nice and very respectful. looked for every discount and tried to give us every idea possible to lessen the cost of the funeral without lessening the respect for mom. Thought I was strong enough. . . the tears had dried, still greatful for the plan of salvation and knowing that I will see her again soon. . . . we were about a mile away from her home and I smiled to myself thinking, We are almost there, I can't wait to see mom - then I thought stupid she's gone. . . .she wont be there sitting in the garage waiting as we pulled up and that was all it took. . . .
Throughout the evening we kept busy doing different things around the house. But later in the evening I had a free moment so I went into Mommys room. .. sat in the rocking chair that I had been in many times during the past few days and just took a moment to miss her. . . I could still smell her and even feel her presence if that is possible. Didn't cry then. . . just felt happy for her. Gone to a place with no pain, no hurt, no worry. . . and probably in the middle of a reunion with the many people that have passed that she misses soooooo much.
I took forward to that day of my reunion with her and others that I miss.
After the funeral home came and took moms body away, the family came out to the garage which we use as a family room. . . .chairs and tables all around. The rain started, just a nice cooling rain -in this drought, we felt it was symbolic of her saying goodbye to us . . about to eat breakfast and Seu - the oldest of the children started to talk. . . we all looked to the spot that mommy normally sits and then it really sunk in she's really gone. Tears flowing the whole time. As he spoke about feeling lost and wanting for us to do our best to make her final arrangements all that she had wished. . . .he didn't go into the normal business of I'm the oldest you will do this type of thing. . . .he just said as her children we need to make it right. . .didn't talk about the normal FA Samoa custom where all the kids have to give this much money or anything stressful like that. He just said he knew that money is tight right now and if we work together we can do it and make her proud. There was such a sweet spirit in the meeting. It was hard to think of how we could afford everything or how we will plan a service that she could be proud of, but the desire was planted in everyone of us to do whatever we could to make her dreams a reality. .. knowing full well if we could do this, we could and would stay even closer as a family!
We left in the morning to go home, shower and get a little rest. . . Met with the funeral home. they were really nice and very respectful. looked for every discount and tried to give us every idea possible to lessen the cost of the funeral without lessening the respect for mom. Thought I was strong enough. . . the tears had dried, still greatful for the plan of salvation and knowing that I will see her again soon. . . . we were about a mile away from her home and I smiled to myself thinking, We are almost there, I can't wait to see mom - then I thought stupid she's gone. . . .she wont be there sitting in the garage waiting as we pulled up and that was all it took. . . .
Throughout the evening we kept busy doing different things around the house. But later in the evening I had a free moment so I went into Mommys room. .. sat in the rocking chair that I had been in many times during the past few days and just took a moment to miss her. . . I could still smell her and even feel her presence if that is possible. Didn't cry then. . . just felt happy for her. Gone to a place with no pain, no hurt, no worry. . . and probably in the middle of a reunion with the many people that have passed that she misses soooooo much.
I took forward to that day of my reunion with her and others that I miss.
Friday, July 2, 2010
She's Gone
Kemu fell asleep and I didn't have the heart to wake her up. . . I started watching church videos on youtube. . She got up every 1/2 hour to see that I was still with mom. I decided that I could stay awake until 2:30 and then I would wake her up. Suddenly about 10 minutes to the goal moms breathing went slow. . . I thought, "did I see that right" I watched her breathe one more time and then woke Kemu to tell her.. . . immediately she said call everyone in. Tash was awake so I told her first, then I woke Lina, then I went outside and woke all the boys, Ako, Miah, Lincon, then Noka. By the time I came back to her room she was gone. Peaceful, no struggle, quiet. They were all in shock, she had waited until everyone was sleeping, She wanted to go without fan fair. . . with out crying children. . . .without troubling everyone. 2:24am she peacefully left this world to a better one.
What a fighter
Wow, it's almost mid-night and mom is still with us. . . I almost want to say that she is better than she was just a few hours earlier. . .
Enoka and I went home to shower and grab the necessities to stay longer and when we came back it is almost like she is back to breathing like she was a few days ago and the spit up is gone.
What a day. . . when the nurse said she could go in the next 4 hours, the entire family came together. . I left work early and we each had some time with her. Everyone telling her how much they love her and will miss her and thanking her for our lives. . . we all sang for a few hours and now we are all sleeping over. Well most are sleeping - as I am an outsider of sorts. . I waited until now to have my alone time with her. I am glad because Kemu hasn't slept at all this week and she has actually been asleep for a few minutes (doesn't sound like much but believe me it is)
I was amazed at how well so many people could work together without fuss or trouble. Lots of crying of course, but mostly singing and praising the lord. For awhile there we were singing every Church song she knew but we slowly ran out of songs and it was way past time for dinner. Although I include myself with the entire family, I only knew the words to 3 of the many songs that were offered up to the Lord.
At one point in the afternoon, we started to reminisce about mommy and what we will forever miss. One of the greatest things will be the UH football games. . . when Uriah (oldest grandchild) played for UH we were at every home game. . . got broke doing it, but we were there. When he graduated, we started buying the season games on TV. Every game night (or day) we would lug the huge TV into the garage and everyone would bring food and we would cheer for our team. . (win or loose) until the very end. . Passing around sunflower seeds, drinks, candy, food. . sometimes we would even bbq. Mom was the first one out everytime. Noka and I could show up around 2 pm for a 6pm kick off and there she was sitting on the couch with her table in front of her waiting for everyone to show. Yes we will all miss pulling up to the house and seeing her outside waiting for us.
We also began her final arrangements and that was a little hard on everyone. No one really wanted to think about it because she is still with us - technically. . and I only use that term because as we have been told the entire body has officially shut down except for her brain. Even being told this, I know like I've never before understood, that there is a distinct difference between body and spirit. . .It's hard to explain but awesome to witness that her body is tired, and dying, and lifeless. . . yet her spirit is strong and fighting this death with every breath she takes. As difficult as this is to watch, I am grateful for the experience. It has helped me understand more about the plan of salvation in a way that I never could have before.
Enoka and I went home to shower and grab the necessities to stay longer and when we came back it is almost like she is back to breathing like she was a few days ago and the spit up is gone.
What a day. . . when the nurse said she could go in the next 4 hours, the entire family came together. . I left work early and we each had some time with her. Everyone telling her how much they love her and will miss her and thanking her for our lives. . . we all sang for a few hours and now we are all sleeping over. Well most are sleeping - as I am an outsider of sorts. . I waited until now to have my alone time with her. I am glad because Kemu hasn't slept at all this week and she has actually been asleep for a few minutes (doesn't sound like much but believe me it is)
I was amazed at how well so many people could work together without fuss or trouble. Lots of crying of course, but mostly singing and praising the lord. For awhile there we were singing every Church song she knew but we slowly ran out of songs and it was way past time for dinner. Although I include myself with the entire family, I only knew the words to 3 of the many songs that were offered up to the Lord.
At one point in the afternoon, we started to reminisce about mommy and what we will forever miss. One of the greatest things will be the UH football games. . . when Uriah (oldest grandchild) played for UH we were at every home game. . . got broke doing it, but we were there. When he graduated, we started buying the season games on TV. Every game night (or day) we would lug the huge TV into the garage and everyone would bring food and we would cheer for our team. . (win or loose) until the very end. . Passing around sunflower seeds, drinks, candy, food. . sometimes we would even bbq. Mom was the first one out everytime. Noka and I could show up around 2 pm for a 6pm kick off and there she was sitting on the couch with her table in front of her waiting for everyone to show. Yes we will all miss pulling up to the house and seeing her outside waiting for us.
We also began her final arrangements and that was a little hard on everyone. No one really wanted to think about it because she is still with us - technically. . and I only use that term because as we have been told the entire body has officially shut down except for her brain. Even being told this, I know like I've never before understood, that there is a distinct difference between body and spirit. . .It's hard to explain but awesome to witness that her body is tired, and dying, and lifeless. . . yet her spirit is strong and fighting this death with every breath she takes. As difficult as this is to watch, I am grateful for the experience. It has helped me understand more about the plan of salvation in a way that I never could have before.
Thursday, July 1, 2010
update. . ..
Just heard, the family is gathering now. . .
they expect her to pass in the next few hours. . .I'll write more when I can.
they expect her to pass in the next few hours. . .I'll write more when I can.
Special Moments
Yesterday mom was great. Back at home in her new bed and everyone so happy to see her resting peacefully. Lina and Don spent the day, Ako and Kemu were at mom's side. And Tash was there too when we arrived. They let me have some time alone with her and I chatted some about the plan of salvation. I asked her if she was surrounded by Dad and Tina and the others already gone. I sang to her some of my favorite songs, and just held her hand.
Later, we gathered for Prayer and Song with those present. Ako prayed. It was a sweet prayer asking the father to let her know that we love her and to take her pain away. Enoka led us in one of her favorite songs. . .and then when it was over, we turned on the lights and she had tears in her eyes. It was a really special moment for children who have been waiting for any sign that she is still here with us, and that she can hear what is going on around them.
For the most part of the evening each of the children were talking about things that she had mentioned to them regarding the time that she leaves this mortal existence. Kemu was concerned with the way she wanted the garage. . .she had purchased lattice and wanted it nailed to the sides. . . Enoka was feeling a little bad because we never found the furniture that she wanted to have when people come to visit. Ako keeps reminding everyone that all Mommy has ever wanted is for everyone to get along. I must admit they are all a little worried that the oldest brother will bully them into something that they don't want but they are all getting together so that if it happens they will have a united front. I am just praying that it dosen't happen.
But getting back to the good parts. . .as I was leaving for the 2nd time yesterday. . .I was saying my goodbyes and telling mom I'll see her tomorrow. . .when I was walking away she let out the loudest grunt sound. . .Kemu and I laughed saying that she wanted to say goodbye too and I happily walked out to the car.
Lincon arrived at one this morning and Enoka and I went to pick him up. He was anxious because flights had been over booked and delayed. . .he understood that we had very little time left. We went back to moms and again visited for a few minutes and then got ready to go. . it was already 2 in the morning. When Lincon finally spoke to her as we were walking to the front door. . .He said, "Mom I'm home, It's Lincon" Immediately she gave this loud grunt, just as she had before with me. He then said, "Mommy I love you" and she started coughing like she was trying to clear her throat and then gave a long grunt again. That brought tears to my eyes. . . .It confirmed to me that she could still hear and recognize, even though physically she couldn't respond in a manner that we were used to.
Love you Mom!
Later, we gathered for Prayer and Song with those present. Ako prayed. It was a sweet prayer asking the father to let her know that we love her and to take her pain away. Enoka led us in one of her favorite songs. . .and then when it was over, we turned on the lights and she had tears in her eyes. It was a really special moment for children who have been waiting for any sign that she is still here with us, and that she can hear what is going on around them.
For the most part of the evening each of the children were talking about things that she had mentioned to them regarding the time that she leaves this mortal existence. Kemu was concerned with the way she wanted the garage. . .she had purchased lattice and wanted it nailed to the sides. . . Enoka was feeling a little bad because we never found the furniture that she wanted to have when people come to visit. Ako keeps reminding everyone that all Mommy has ever wanted is for everyone to get along. I must admit they are all a little worried that the oldest brother will bully them into something that they don't want but they are all getting together so that if it happens they will have a united front. I am just praying that it dosen't happen.
But getting back to the good parts. . .as I was leaving for the 2nd time yesterday. . .I was saying my goodbyes and telling mom I'll see her tomorrow. . .when I was walking away she let out the loudest grunt sound. . .Kemu and I laughed saying that she wanted to say goodbye too and I happily walked out to the car.
Lincon arrived at one this morning and Enoka and I went to pick him up. He was anxious because flights had been over booked and delayed. . .he understood that we had very little time left. We went back to moms and again visited for a few minutes and then got ready to go. . it was already 2 in the morning. When Lincon finally spoke to her as we were walking to the front door. . .He said, "Mom I'm home, It's Lincon" Immediately she gave this loud grunt, just as she had before with me. He then said, "Mommy I love you" and she started coughing like she was trying to clear her throat and then gave a long grunt again. That brought tears to my eyes. . . .It confirmed to me that she could still hear and recognize, even though physically she couldn't respond in a manner that we were used to.
Love you Mom!
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Memories. . .
Yesterday we all got called to the hospital, my mom (in law - never felt like an in law, just like a mother. . .) has been fighting pancriatic cancer since 2007. They have turned their attention from fighting the cancer to "comfort care" she will go home today under hospice for the duration of her time here on earth. . . . I gathered with the rest of the family members and we sang and prayed, and I felt a little guilty because I didn't cry. Instead I thought about how my life has been since I met her. . . .
and so my story begins:
Enoka and I met at a new years eve party Dec. 31, 1999. . . first official date was on February 16, 2000. . . . just a few days later Rosie Ika (cousin) and I were cruising to Waimanalo to look for a Tongan church when his van pulled along side us. He told me to follow him home. . . .He was bringing him mom home from church. We pulled up on the street in front of his home, and he came to the car, grabbed my hand and marched me right up to his mom. She didn't want to meet me. She walked straight to the back of the house and started to change her clothes. . .Enoka wouldn't have it. . .he grabbed her hand, turned her around, and forced her to meet me.
This was not the way I envisioned ever meeting a parent of a date but there you have it. . .one shy Laie girl, shaking hands with an older Samoan woman who was yelling something in Samoan and looking upset with me, the situation and everyone around her. One of the most awkward moments of my life.
A few days later Enoka called me and asked that I come pick him up. He had gotten drunk and his brother Seu and sister Tina were kicking him out of the house. . . .at this point I thought. . .what the heck did I get myself into. . .this is going to end tonight. . .
I pulled up to the house and his mom was outside crying this time. When I came, she embraced me. She asked me to be kind to her son. . .it was the first time I heard my favorite story she would ever tell. . .
Enoka is a special child, a miracle. . .she and her husband were working in the family plantation on March 8, 1969 and she went into labor and gave birth to him with no one around. He was so tiny that she knew he wouldn't make it. So tiny Lepelea his father would not hold him. . . she said he fit in the palm of her hand and was small like a mouse. They took him to the hospital and three months later they heard on the radio to come and pick him up. . .he was ready to go home!
Now he's mine.
and so my story begins:
Enoka and I met at a new years eve party Dec. 31, 1999. . . first official date was on February 16, 2000. . . . just a few days later Rosie Ika (cousin) and I were cruising to Waimanalo to look for a Tongan church when his van pulled along side us. He told me to follow him home. . . .He was bringing him mom home from church. We pulled up on the street in front of his home, and he came to the car, grabbed my hand and marched me right up to his mom. She didn't want to meet me. She walked straight to the back of the house and started to change her clothes. . .Enoka wouldn't have it. . .he grabbed her hand, turned her around, and forced her to meet me.
This was not the way I envisioned ever meeting a parent of a date but there you have it. . .one shy Laie girl, shaking hands with an older Samoan woman who was yelling something in Samoan and looking upset with me, the situation and everyone around her. One of the most awkward moments of my life.
A few days later Enoka called me and asked that I come pick him up. He had gotten drunk and his brother Seu and sister Tina were kicking him out of the house. . . .at this point I thought. . .what the heck did I get myself into. . .this is going to end tonight. . .
I pulled up to the house and his mom was outside crying this time. When I came, she embraced me. She asked me to be kind to her son. . .it was the first time I heard my favorite story she would ever tell. . .
Enoka is a special child, a miracle. . .she and her husband were working in the family plantation on March 8, 1969 and she went into labor and gave birth to him with no one around. He was so tiny that she knew he wouldn't make it. So tiny Lepelea his father would not hold him. . . she said he fit in the palm of her hand and was small like a mouse. They took him to the hospital and three months later they heard on the radio to come and pick him up. . .he was ready to go home!
Now he's mine.
Sunday, June 13, 2010
I'm still learning. . .
So I am constantly being humbled with reminders that the Lord really knows me. . . Who else can sense my pain and bring comfort so quickly? Who else can provide when I didn't even know I was in need? Who else can whisper to my heart, surround me with the spirit, and fill my being with love? Yes Heavenly Father Lives, and I am so blessed to be His daughter!
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Politics. . . hmmmm
I've been bombarded with peoples views, comments, and questions about Obama, the health plan, the Governor, congress, and many more political topics. . .I do have an opinion and I'll share it here. The idea that I need to share my thoughts came at a break the fast yesterday. The gentleman sitting next to me (who is running for N.A.'s seat in congress) Tried to strike up a conversation with me by posing the question. . .Aren't you thrilled with the health care reform that the President just signed? I really wanted to punch him but I replied, "I prefer not to discuss that here at church on a Sunday, I'd like to enjoy my dinner."
My problem with the reform and many of the recent events: It's not whether it's good or bad. . . it's the fact that politicians are forgetting that they are representing us. . . actual living, breathing, tax paying citizens. . if 64% of America does not want this then our elected officials have a responsibility to vote accordingly. I don't vote just so they can fly to Washington and forget their promises to the people who put them there. I think when we send them letters and faxes that overwhelming show our concerns and what we would like to see. . . or even ask questions about which direction they are siding with, only to be told, "thank you for your comments, however I am looking at the bigger picture" have forgotten why they were voted in and who put them there.
This brother, who didn't let it end, assumed that I was against the new med reform, and tried to remind me that when medicare and Social Security were greeted with the same type of negative attitude when they first came about. I wanted to tell him, "yeah but did you read on AOL, Social Security is officially bankrupt, 10 years before predicted!" Imagine I've worked for a quarter of a century paying taxes, giving money to Social Security and Medicare just to find that I wont get any of it back.
He went on to Praise Obama, and try to get me to agree that I need to support my leaders. . . I graciously told him, "this is not church, and even if it was, I've been raised not to follow blindly. ..We have been given the gift of the Holy Ghost to know the truth of all things. . .I am not a robot , I search, ponder, pray, and experiment upon the word. Telling someone they need to support someone because they are the elected official is like telling me to jump off a cliff because you did!"
Just because he was voted as President of the US, or any other political leader in any position. . . you don't just sit back and follow even when you don't agree. . .you voice your opinion, by phone calls, letters, meetings, picketing, any way you want (within the legal realms) You let them know what you want or else. . .you aren't allowed to complain! You gave up your rights when you said nothing at all.
I have written my representatives, council members, the "honorable Linda Lingle", and even the Mayor when I want them to know how I feel about laws, issues, and changes that they might be making. . . Everything from homelessness, to same sex union, to fire works! I am just grateful that I have the chance to vote and affect change. I'm glad that when they make the effort to come out into the public and ask for my vote or I bump into them at Sams's Club or a local restaurant, I take the chance to voice my opinion on something. . . They won't ever be able to say they had no idea of my stand on the issue.
When I find a politician that actually has a grasp on the way the people in their area feels and votes according to the majority of those they represent and not according to their own needs and beliefs, then I back them up no matter what. I think too often people go to the polls uneducated, unprepared, and ready to vote for the person whom they recognize on the ballot. I did that once . . . voted the wrong person in and have regretted it since. Even if my choice doesn't win. . at least the winner knows even if 20K voted for him/her, there is another 14k who didn't think he/she was the right person for the job, and that is good enough for me.
Bottom Line: I can't wait for the next elections. . I plan to be active all the way through. . . I made a bunch of promises myself to people who have forgotten who put them in their comfy little job and I plan to vigorously campaign against them!
Honk will ya, if you see me out on the road holding signs!
My problem with the reform and many of the recent events: It's not whether it's good or bad. . . it's the fact that politicians are forgetting that they are representing us. . . actual living, breathing, tax paying citizens. . if 64% of America does not want this then our elected officials have a responsibility to vote accordingly. I don't vote just so they can fly to Washington and forget their promises to the people who put them there. I think when we send them letters and faxes that overwhelming show our concerns and what we would like to see. . . or even ask questions about which direction they are siding with, only to be told, "thank you for your comments, however I am looking at the bigger picture" have forgotten why they were voted in and who put them there.
This brother, who didn't let it end, assumed that I was against the new med reform, and tried to remind me that when medicare and Social Security were greeted with the same type of negative attitude when they first came about. I wanted to tell him, "yeah but did you read on AOL, Social Security is officially bankrupt, 10 years before predicted!" Imagine I've worked for a quarter of a century paying taxes, giving money to Social Security and Medicare just to find that I wont get any of it back.
He went on to Praise Obama, and try to get me to agree that I need to support my leaders. . . I graciously told him, "this is not church, and even if it was, I've been raised not to follow blindly. ..We have been given the gift of the Holy Ghost to know the truth of all things. . .I am not a robot , I search, ponder, pray, and experiment upon the word. Telling someone they need to support someone because they are the elected official is like telling me to jump off a cliff because you did!"
Just because he was voted as President of the US, or any other political leader in any position. . . you don't just sit back and follow even when you don't agree. . .you voice your opinion, by phone calls, letters, meetings, picketing, any way you want (within the legal realms) You let them know what you want or else. . .you aren't allowed to complain! You gave up your rights when you said nothing at all.
I have written my representatives, council members, the "honorable Linda Lingle", and even the Mayor when I want them to know how I feel about laws, issues, and changes that they might be making. . . Everything from homelessness, to same sex union, to fire works! I am just grateful that I have the chance to vote and affect change. I'm glad that when they make the effort to come out into the public and ask for my vote or I bump into them at Sams's Club or a local restaurant, I take the chance to voice my opinion on something. . . They won't ever be able to say they had no idea of my stand on the issue.
When I find a politician that actually has a grasp on the way the people in their area feels and votes according to the majority of those they represent and not according to their own needs and beliefs, then I back them up no matter what. I think too often people go to the polls uneducated, unprepared, and ready to vote for the person whom they recognize on the ballot. I did that once . . . voted the wrong person in and have regretted it since. Even if my choice doesn't win. . at least the winner knows even if 20K voted for him/her, there is another 14k who didn't think he/she was the right person for the job, and that is good enough for me.
Bottom Line: I can't wait for the next elections. . I plan to be active all the way through. . . I made a bunch of promises myself to people who have forgotten who put them in their comfy little job and I plan to vigorously campaign against them!
Honk will ya, if you see me out on the road holding signs!
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Aloha All,
We have had a wonderful few weeks, so it is was a shock and surprise to find that Enoka just lost his job... Thank goodness for great family and friends who support us. We will have to cut back on a lot of expenses for awhile and although internet will not be one of them, TV will. . so you should see a bit more blogging than we have been doing.
We spent Presidents Day in Laie, got to hang with Nassah, Riah, Sharyn, and Rachael. . .and their parents too!...
Enoka has joined the rest of the brother-in-laws in the unemployment line. . .so anyone who has heard of openings anywhere from Kaneohe to Honolulu, we are interested. Part-time, Full-time, on-call, anything to get by.
We are still YSA advisors and we just saw our first hook-up after class!. . . oh to be young and single again!
So today is the 10th anniversary of our First Date!. .. I know Enoka has something planned, just don't know what. It's also Tom Monsons' (grandson) 8th anniversary. . so if you read this, we are thinking of you, CONGRATS!
That means this year will be a milestone year for us, 10 years since Enoka got baptized (4/1/2000), 10 years since we got engaged (6/14/2000), 10 years since Larie left on her mission, 10 years since Rosie went back to Cali, 10 years since Fireworks needed permits!
But anyway. . .that's us for now. . will catch up soon!
We have had a wonderful few weeks, so it is was a shock and surprise to find that Enoka just lost his job... Thank goodness for great family and friends who support us. We will have to cut back on a lot of expenses for awhile and although internet will not be one of them, TV will. . so you should see a bit more blogging than we have been doing.
We spent Presidents Day in Laie, got to hang with Nassah, Riah, Sharyn, and Rachael. . .and their parents too!...
Enoka has joined the rest of the brother-in-laws in the unemployment line. . .so anyone who has heard of openings anywhere from Kaneohe to Honolulu, we are interested. Part-time, Full-time, on-call, anything to get by.
We are still YSA advisors and we just saw our first hook-up after class!. . . oh to be young and single again!
So today is the 10th anniversary of our First Date!. .. I know Enoka has something planned, just don't know what. It's also Tom Monsons' (grandson) 8th anniversary. . so if you read this, we are thinking of you, CONGRATS!
That means this year will be a milestone year for us, 10 years since Enoka got baptized (4/1/2000), 10 years since we got engaged (6/14/2000), 10 years since Larie left on her mission, 10 years since Rosie went back to Cali, 10 years since Fireworks needed permits!
But anyway. . .that's us for now. . will catch up soon!
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