Thursday, October 7, 2010
As I sit here and contemplate what the future holds I wonder if I can really be grateful through the present. President Monson admonished us just a few days ago to be grateful. Be patient, don't settle for what you want now. Wait for the real reward. I am trying. Enoka and I lay awake wondering what the future holds? What plan does the Lord have in store? What decision is the right decision? How much will it hurt? Do I break down and ask my parents if we can move in with them? or do we turn to his family for help? Do we seek temporary monetary help? Or a more long term (long patience) approach? Even though the fault lies on Enoka for the shortage of funds, I feel the guilt lies heavier on me. I am the one who went to the Lord with a question, innocent as it was I never imagined the answer would affect us so greatly. I keep wondering, "why did I ask if I knew it would lead to a test/challenge so hard?" Why can't I just run under the covers and hide till the problem is solved? Gosh, I miss being a kid again. I can't breathe, I can't cry, I can't yell, and I can't make everything right! What to do?
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
So one of my co-workers is on vay-k this week. No one else has been coming in. I have this huge office to myself most of the day and all I hear are strange noises. I tried turning up the radio and even singing along but to no avail. . it's still weird. Spookier than the Haunted Lagoon!
Sunday, October 3, 2010
Pres. Monson made me realize just how much I complain and over look the many blessings I have to be greatful for. As I have sat and pondered in just the past hour and half of my blessings. I have seen a huge paradigm shift in my attitude towards my work place, my friends/enemies, my family, my home, my situation, my life. I am so grateful that we get to listen to the Lords chosen every six months!