The Challenge: To Be Grateful!

As I sit here and contemplate what the future holds I wonder if I can really be grateful through the present. President Monson admonished us just a few days ago to be grateful. Be patient, don't settle for what you want now. Wait for the real reward. I am trying. Enoka and I lay awake wondering what the future holds? What plan does the Lord have in store? What decision is the right decision? How much will it hurt? Do I break down and ask my parents if we can move in with them? or do we turn to his family for help? Do we seek temporary monetary help? Or a more long term (long patience) approach? Even though the fault lies on Enoka for the shortage of funds, I feel the guilt lies heavier on me. I am the one who went to the Lord with a question, innocent as it was I never imagined the answer would affect us so greatly. I keep wondering, "why did I ask if I knew it would lead to a test/challenge so hard?" Why can't I just run under the covers and hide till the problem is solved? Gosh, I miss being a kid again. I can't breathe, I can't cry, I can't yell, and I can't make everything right! What to do?