Okay so most of you are probably writing about some puppy love that you crushed on in middle school. . . Not me..
I have not fallen out of love with my first love - and no- Enoka has nothing to worry about. . .
My first love was/is READING! But not just any read, Church books, especially the Book of Mormon. I was fourteen years old. Starting to realize that many of my friends at school had different beliefs. I wasn't trying to be a missionary, I was only trying to understand where they were coming from. Catholics, Baptist, Buhdist, Methodist, and the list goes on. . .But why so many different churches and what was the difference between theirs and ours. . .(Up till this time, when people said they belonged to a different church, I had assumed they meant a different ward or stake).
My mother and I were shopping at SEARS one day and a lady asked me if I was catholic or christen? I thought???????? then told her Christen but why didn't I say "neither, I'm mormon!" This led to an interesting conversation all the way home. We were preping dinner and still discussing the church issuse when my mother told me about her up bringing. My Grandmother was a "scientologist?" I never knew. I thought we were all mormons. Then she told me that when she was dating my father, she started to read the book of mormon(influenced by her roommate, not my dad), she shared with me how she had prayed about it and knew it was true. . .
This intrigued me. I had heard the Joseph Smith story, and we read the book of mormon as a family every morning, I just assumed it was true. I had never questioned it before. But that night I began. Every night in fact before going to bed I would read. Sometimes with a flashlight because I shared my room with Kappy and she would be asleep before me. I wish I could say I finished in a week, but it was months (almost 6) before I finished it. I prayed about it. I remember staying on my knees and waiting. Every night I would pray to find out if the Book was true. I don't remember how long, but more than a week had passed before the answer came to me. I got chicken skin, and then this warm feeling of love that I had never felt before. I cried and didn't know why. Then I realized that it was the spirit. The savior was telling me it was true. I got my answer, just like my mother and Joseph Smith. Something changed. I knew that I would never be the same. I knew it was true and hurt that others didn't. I went from falling a sleep during family scripure reading, to wanting to understand more. I spent all my extra money on LDS novels and church books, bios of prophets and church leaders.
But I have continued to read the Book of Mormon, and each time I finish I get on my knees and ask for a witness of it's truthfulness. As I go through and learn about promises, I test them out. Some of the time it takes a while to get my answer. . some times the trials accompanied by them are more than I think that I can bear. But each time I search, ponder, pray and exercise the teachings I feel the spirit testifying even stronger of the truthfullness. I understand deeper why it is an individual thing, and especially - increase my love for the book, the prophets who wrote it and the people who lived it.