the best part of cancer

Sounds like a really strange title. I know. but after starting this journey I've decided that I am grateful it is me. Not one of my sisters or nieces. So the best part of getting cancer is that for the rest of my family history none of the girls in my family can say they don't have a history of cancer in our family. Why is this good? Every time someone goes in with a problem, doctors will take a closer look. I've complained since 2006 of pains and problems. I don't know if cancer would have ever been caught earlier but the nausea,anemia, pains, and other problems were always dismissed as ulcers or some other simple explanation. More meds, more dr. apts. but never more searching for the root. None of my family will have to go through that. They will say "history of cancer" and the right tests and screening will be done. The Second resson I am glad I got cancer is now I can move on. All my life I dreamed of the day that I would have a child of my own. Planned how many children I would have (at least 12) their names and the order. After getting married, my hubby and I waited, tried again and again. Each check up hoping this time it would be positive, and several times glad that it was only to end as quickly as it started. But now I don't need to try, wait, wonder. I can move on with my life knowing that it's not in the cards for me. I could have seriously gone another 10 years waiting and wondering, hoping and trying. Now I can discover more dreams, ones without a large family. It really is a blessing

where do i go from here?

The past 10 years have been interesting to say the least. Especially when it comes to my health. . . first came the "high blood pressure" then the diabetes, blood issues, and now cancer. . I have to admit. I was not expecting it. Getting the call from the Dr. I was waiting for the ~ everything looks fine, lets check back in a year. . . but not it's C A N C E R. or for the next few words. . .Me: so what's the game plan? Dr: totally hysterectomy me: and then? (thinking there must be more to this) dr: that should get everything me: are we sure? dr: we won't know anything until we open you up me: cancer, um doesn't that mean radiation? chemo? dr: lets get everything out then we'll go from there me: surgery when? dr: soon as possible me: I'll call you back click: head in hands crying. . call Hubby: Enoka: what's up Me: Dr. Terada callled Enoka: ANDDDDDDDDD! Me: Silence Enoka: hello? Hello? HELLO? Me: it's cancer and he wants surgery right away Enoka: Shhhhhhhhh. . . ! (silence. . then crying. . "When are you coming home? Me: I don't know I have AVON tonight. . sisters are going to Kareoke Enoka: Please come home. . . click: phone ringing again: Rosie: Hello my favorite. Me: Sobbing Rosie: What's a matter? Me: Just heard back from the Dr. It's cancer, I have to have surgery, I'll be out of work for 6 weeks. . . Rosie: Oh honey, I'm sorry, this just sucks! Me: Yup I'm not going to the mtg. tonight. I don't feel like it. Rosie: Me neither. . . .they'll just have to deal without their favorites. When are you going to have surgery? Me: Don't know just got off the phone with the Dr and Hubby I have to talk to the boss. Rosie: (bunch of stuff I don't need to share) "call me after you talk to her. . love ya, don't tell Celeste but you're my favorite!" HEAD IN HANDS AGAIN CRYING . . . COMPOSING MYSELF. . . FIXING MY MAKEUP. . . GOING TO TALK TO THE BOSS. . . Me: Got a moment? Espe: Sure what's up Me: Dr. just called with results ~ I have cancer, I have to have a total hysterectomy. It takes 6 weeks to recuperate. (talking as fast as I can but the tears are faster) Espe: Passing me the kleenex, we need to get it done right away. Who can we train, how about_________? Schedule it right away, don't mess around. You can beat this, I'm sorry. Let me hug you. Go home, do you need a ride? should I call your hubby? (It was time to go home anyway). I'm not sure this was worse or equally as bad as the car accident but in the few minutes of the bad news a support team to help me hold it in as I am falling apart. Tears spilled as I let each person in my family know the rest of the night. But, they were all there for me. How lucky am I. It has been a week and 1/2 since learning my state of health and several things have happened. I've realized that I can count on both hands a feet more people I know who have battled cancer and won. I came to the conclusion after a few days of constant crying that I don't like to be sad or depressed. It's not me. I was angry for a while but that's not me either. It's cancer. I have it. I can't change it. But I don't have to live my life sore and unhappy. My biggest sadness about this is the fact that for sure, I will never have a baby. Not a big deal for some but personally I've had a dream of being a mom of at least 12 kids. I've always wanted a big family just like the one I grew up in. Last year after my miscarriage I resolved that if I had just one it would be worth it. This year (a year later) I am given the news that my one impossible dream will never happen. I can love everyone elses child but will never have my own. Two things come from this reality. I must now move on to another dream. What a relief, I don't have to pray about when because my answer is never. But on the other hand, how many times have I told the lord I will do what he wants and this experience will only "refine" me. I do not know how many times Lanice comes to mind (because her fav. scripture): Trust in the Lord with all thine heart and lean not to thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him and he shall direct thy paths. I can not choose the outcome. I want to believe that this surgery will end the cancer. I want to live. So while i can, I will.

Life's too short

So much has happened in the past year that I haven't blogged. . . Lisi graduated from law school. Dad's Memory has declined. . . Mariah is in High School. . . Sharyn is in Young Womens. . . Elijah's basketball team made it to the finals. . . Pati finally likes me enough to let me play candy land, but not enough to let me win. . .AVON has exploded for me. I became a divisonal winner which included an all expense paid trip to New York, Professional Make up classes and more. Enoka is still the center of my life. I am no longer part of the Primary Presidency. I am full time with Seminary and getting ready for graduation. It seems like everything is constantly moving from one event to another. Lisa is getting married this weekend. Alofa is entering the temple for herself at the end of the Month. Some of the Mavens are coming to Hawaii in June. Rachael still believes that she is my favorite. Sam and his group are way more amazing then I ever remember. Finally went to Tiki's for my birthday. It's amazing to think that 15 years ago my life changed in a big way and yet it still feels like Yesterday. Driving down the road on our way to a concert looking at the beautiful rainbow and sunset and boom. Gone in an instant. Maybe there are too many memories to remember, but at the same time so many missed. A drunk driver, a split second, a lifetime of regret.

Latest PPI

So Daddy, so in tune with the spirit. . .more than most people realize, even with the dementia - called me in for a PPI (personal priesthood interview) a few weeks back. He heard from my mom that I was sick. To what extent I know not, but our visit was different from most of our PPI's. Gone were the questions, are you reading your scriptures? are you a full tithe payer? are you holding family home evening? are you attending the temple regularly? . . in it's place he testified to me about an experience he had with the prophet David O Mc Kay on one of his visits to Hawaii and the Polynesian Cultural Center. Dad had been chosen as one of the men to escort Pres. Mc Kay around the center, and when they had a moment alone, Dad asked him for a blessing. . . .He believed that Pres. M Kay would give him one because he had given one to his Grandfather and his mother on a trip to Tonga back in 1921. He wanted this blessing because there was some information missing from his patriarchal blessing. President Mc Kay knew who he was, remembered the exact day and location that he gave the blessings to our ancestors, and knew that Dad knew the blessings and promises that had been pronounced. He told dad, no- it was not necessary. That the blessings pronounced upon them would also be passed down to him. Dad explained to him that when he received his patriarchal blessing (in 1972)that information was missing. . .that all his siblings received this and that he desired this too. . .Pres. Mc Kay again told him not to worry, that he was aware of the blessing given to his mom and grandpa - it was the same blessing for him. That what he was promised in his blessing would come true depending upon his faithfulness. . .I share this because, I have been thinking about my patriarchal blessing. . .Dad has a profound promise in his that I don't have in mine. In fact mine states just the opposite. This has weighed on my mind for a while, and while doing a session this weekend, I felt the spirit testify to me the importance of the council given to me by my dad. I prefer not to share it because it was meant for just me, but I do want to say that I know he is a man called of God. Just a man, but one holding the priesthood, to act in his name here on earth. I am so grateful to know this. To have this confirmed. To know of his love for me, and know that he has done everything throughout his life to make sure that we are and can be a forever family. I share this now because I woke up early this morning after an interesting dream. I dreamt that I was teaching a class and the question we were studying was: Did Jesus really live again? like in that Primary song, "Did Jesus really live again after he had died? Oh yes, and so will I"

more values!!!

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Extreme Couponing!!!

I love deals! I am addicted to them. and when the deal includes something free I love it even more. . .I walked into Bath and Body yesterday with a free item coupon and walked out with a bag full of goodies and a free item that retailed at $15 all under $20!.

So today, I took a little trip around FACEBOOK and guess what I discovered. . .You think it and you can get it. . your favorite chips, meats, ice cream. . .anything. I was so excited I just joined about 25 pages in about the same amount of time. I've already got a free pineapple pop from edible arrangements, some great hair products from walmart, free zip lock bags and containers, and coupons for almost everyting I am buying for the rest of the week.

Try it, see what you get, and if you are having a baby I know where you can get $250 worth of products for free. . which makes me want to go back and get it for someones baby shower. . . Thank you friends who keep me abreast on the latest deals. . .you are making me loose sleep in a good way. . happy shopping and remember to ask yourself. . "is there a way I could get it cheaper or free!"

AUGUST PRODUCT OF THE MONTH!!!

I've decided to do a product of the month for my wonderful customers. . . give you the chance to try a new or favorite product of AVON's at a discount. So here is a great new product. AVON's 3D Rescue. It repairs three years worth of damage in 3 days!!! and I am giving you the chance to get it at $6.00. This leave in treatment is perfect if you have problems with dry dull hair, if your hair is brittle and breaks easily, or if you suffer from split ends.

Also, If you want more help getting healthier hair, I am also offering a combo of the Damage Repair Shampoo, Conditioner, Heat Protectant Spray, and Reconstructive Mask for $10.

This is a total Savings of $24 and as always 100% Satisfaction Guarantee or your money back! This Promotion is good until August 31, 2011 and will only be available throuh me.

Thanks for the Support!